Someone PLEASE buy her a dictionary...
So for a long time I have struggled to understand the “logic” behind the behaviour of my 2 legged polo dispensers, but recently I find we are talking an entirely different language. This does not bode well for this idea she has of our so called partnership. I think I need to make the decisions, and she just needs to listen to me- but I am finding her very stubborn and tricky to train. I have had to enlist a much more sensible 2-legged, Helene, to help me train her, luckily I think Helene agrees with me entirely, and I can feel her rolling her eyes in sympathy with me. Maybe with the 2 of us, and the sainted Karina, we have a snowball’s chance of getting her there.
There are 2 recent examples, and both related in disappointments of different scales for me.
The first, innocuous enough – I am sure I overheard a mention of Dad having an apple in his pocket. Well, Dad is forgetful so I find the best way thing to do is keep reminding him. They both usually have treats in their pockets, so if the dispensing machines seem to be a little slow, I find eating the pocket from the outside very effective. This time, on the apple mention, I went for Dad’s pocket and there was a satisfying crunch – but nothing more. He seemed inordinately upset, and then looked how I felt when this “apple” appeared. Apparently, it was an apple device / aka I phone, which I had no interest in. Very disappointing. It seemed important to Dad though, and apparently my crunch had not improved it. Serves him right for not buying proper apples.
The second, was more sinister – I got over the apple incident when polos arrived.
For weeks Mum had been wittering on about a 2 week holiday. It sounded a great idea to me. Since I have moved homes, I have seen Mum a lot more, and this has translated into a lot harder work trying to teach her to jump. It can be fun, even though she is so slow to learn – but I felt the idea of a holiday was a good one. The spring grass has arrived, and so perfect timing.
Well, day 1 of my holiday and I was in for a huge shock – and it didn’t stop there. It felt like every day the lorry was rolling up, and we were off to somewhere new. This holiday actually translated to I needed a holiday afterwards. Mum had 2 weeks off work, and it seemed planned to spend every day almost working on the challenge. To be fair, parts were quite fun – and had I not been expecting a holiday, it would not have been so disappointing. This 2 weeks included several outings for cross country practise for Mum. With an old friend on board, we popped round a course, and a few 80 fences to show Mum how it was done – that was great.
Mum made a big deal about how I would not go in puddles so the water would be an issue, so I sneaked into the water when they weren’t paying attention to play – she needs to learn there is a difference between this and puddles.
Mum then decided to have a go – and tried my patience no end. I think really she wanted me to jump from walk – but by the end of her 2 weeks, I managed to take her over a 65cm log at canter, so slowly she is improving.
I was very grateful when she went back to work – I needed a rest. It’s very hard work having to train a wobbly 2 legged, as I am sure my other 4 leggeds on this challenge will testify – but I guarantee mine is the worst one.
Mum’s most recent “brilliant” idea was to attend the Milton show, where we went in the Wobbleberry parade so I had a chance to meet some of my fellow sufferers. I can see they are all further along in their training with their 2 leggeds, in particular I was impressed by young Stanley’s training of Rochelle Lee – he was able to really throw some moves in the parade. Even more impressive, he has only been training her for 3 months. I suspect he had far better starting material than me, but still, great guy. I thought with Mum it was best just to walk her round though – she just isn’t at the level of the other wobbleberries yet, to be able to cope with me strutting my stuff.
We then had a go at the novice dressage – a novelty to do this on grass – so I was able to show off a bit then although I am a bit rusty, and keep Mum happy with a bit of red ribbon. What an odd thing to want – honestly, 2 leggeds are unfathomable!
I dread to think what she has planned next – and I obviously can’t trust a word she says. I think we need to create our own dictionary so we can start to understand them – my first entries are below
Apple = I phone – pointless and inedible
Holiday = Boot camp – you’ll need a holiday afterwards.
Please send me your additions, so we can collaborate in our training. Perhaps we need a facebook group for the 4 leggeds……how to train and understand your wobbleberry?